Because you’re there when I awake[1]Nacho Libre (2006), about a gringo-orphan-Catholic-monk-turned-Mexican-Luchador, was Jon Heder’s follow-up to his surprise-hit ethnography of rural Idaho Napoleon Dynamite (2004). As every … Continue reading
And then you give me a life so great[2]“I don’t believe in God. I believe in science!”
Because the children with you can play[3]“Did you not tell them they were the Lord’s chips?”
Because when I speak, you’re always there[4]“Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?!
People listen, what I can tell[5]“But tonight, we’re going up against Satan’s Cavemen and I thought it would be a good idea if you stand next to Esqueleto and push his head in the bowl which comes back up quickly. Praise the … Continue reading
Because you’re my gospel, my daily bread[6]“My favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord, hiking, playing volleyball.”
That’s why I think I am[7]“You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do, every day!”
I am I am I am I am[8]“Save me a piece of that corn for later.”
I think I am[9]“It is true. I am Nacho. Maybe you have seen me on TV. Nachoooooooo!”
I thank I am[10]“I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It’s fantastic.”
I’m glad I am[11]“This is the worst lunch I ever had.”
I’m proud I am[12]“Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?”
A real religious man[13]“Get that corn outta my face!
I am I am I am I am[14]“My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.”
I pray I am[15]“My life is good, really good. I get to wake up every morning, 5 a.m. Make some soup! It’s the best! I love it.”
I feel I am[16]“I’m not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That’s probably why we never win.”
Oh Lord I am[17]“No, we never win because you are fat!”
God knows I am[18]“They don’t think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel. But I do. Okay?”
A real religious man[19]“But sister, they are just niños trying to release their wiggles.”
As I realised you’re my best friend[20]“I am the gatekeeper to my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.”
Can separate a chance from fate[21]“Don’t you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like?”
Because you have all I need to take[22]“Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. For fun.”
That’s why I think I am, I am, I am oohh[23]“No, Chancho, I would never leave you. I just need some sweats.”
The silent prayer, I just Behave[24]“I’m a little concerned right now about your salvation and stuff.”
Saints and sinners aren’t quite the same[25]“Okay, orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face or a punch to the face, but you cannot do it. Because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your … Continue reading
This is my temple, the whole wide world[26]“I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world.”
That’s why I think I am, I am[27]“Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse.”
I am I am, I am I am[28]“Would you like to join me in my quarters this evening for some toast?”
I think I am[29]“This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden, and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace.”
I’m glad I am[30]“I don’t want to get paid to lose! I wanna win!”
I’m proud I am[31]“Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.”
A real religious man[32]“Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty!”
I am I am, I am I am[33]“Those men fight for vanity, for money, for false pride.”
I pray I am[34]“How did you find me in the wilderness?”
I feel I am[35]“I saw you from the village.”
Oh Lord I am[36]“They tried to convert each other, but got married instead. Then they died.”
God knows I am[37]“Some people say wrestlers make bad lovers, that they save themselves for the ring.”
A real religious man[38]“People might get the wrong idea about you, like maybe you are a floozy.”
I am I am, I am I am[39]“I like your cow.”
I pray I am[40]“Jesse, I owe you 4.99 plus tax.”
I feel I am[41]“Those eggs were a lie, Esqueleto. A lie! They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients!”
Oh Lord I am[42]“Ramses’ number one, he knows the secret of desire. Ramses is the one, he puts the people all on fire.”
God knows I am[43]“But you’re tall and fast like a gazelle, you can do it. Pray to the Lord for strength.”
A real religious man[44]“I ate some bugs. I ate some grass. I used my hands to wipe my tears.”
A real religious man[45]“Tonight, I felt something deeper inside me that I never felt before!”
A real religious man[46]“Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen.”
References
| ↑1 | Nacho Libre (2006), about a gringo-orphan-Catholic-monk-turned-Mexican-Luchador, was Jon Heder’s follow-up to his surprise-hit ethnography of rural Idaho Napoleon Dynamite (2004). As every last BYU and BYU-I student who attended in the 2000s could tell you, Heder is practicing LDS and a BYU alumni, and so he became a sort of folk-hero (some might say a gadfly) among these twin student bodies. “Religious Man,” by the Mexican rock band Mr. Loco, was the film’s signature song, elevating that collection of funny-quotes to something sincerely affecting, almost in spite of itself. Nevertheless, let’s not undersell just how funny many of those quotes are; hence, I will populating this Annotated Reading primarily with Nacho Libre quotes. |
|---|---|
| ↑2 | “I don’t believe in God. I believe in science!” |
| ↑3 | “Did you not tell them they were the Lord’s chips?” |
| ↑4 | “Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?! |
| ↑5 | “But tonight, we’re going up against Satan’s Cavemen and I thought it would be a good idea if you stand next to Esqueleto and push his head in the bowl which comes back up quickly. Praise the Lord!” |
| ↑6 | “My favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord, hiking, playing volleyball.” |
| ↑7 | “You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do, every day!” |
| ↑8 | “Save me a piece of that corn for later.” |
| ↑9 | “It is true. I am Nacho. Maybe you have seen me on TV. Nachoooooooo!” |
| ↑10 | “I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It’s fantastic.” |
| ↑11 | “This is the worst lunch I ever had.” |
| ↑12 | “Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?” |
| ↑13 | “Get that corn outta my face! |
| ↑14 | “My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.” |
| ↑15 | “My life is good, really good. I get to wake up every morning, 5 a.m. Make some soup! It’s the best! I love it.” |
| ↑16 | “I’m not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That’s probably why we never win.” |
| ↑17 | “No, we never win because you are fat!” |
| ↑18 | “They don’t think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel. But I do. Okay?” |
| ↑19 | “But sister, they are just niños trying to release their wiggles.” |
| ↑20 | “I am the gatekeeper to my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.” |
| ↑21 | “Don’t you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like?” |
| ↑22 | “Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. For fun.” |
| ↑23 | “No, Chancho, I would never leave you. I just need some sweats.” |
| ↑24 | “I’m a little concerned right now about your salvation and stuff.” |
| ↑25 | “Okay, orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face or a punch to the face, but you cannot do it. Because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.” |
| ↑26 | “I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world.” |
| ↑27 | “Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse.” |
| ↑28 | “Would you like to join me in my quarters this evening for some toast?” |
| ↑29 | “This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden, and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace.” |
| ↑30 | “I don’t want to get paid to lose! I wanna win!” |
| ↑31 | “Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.” |
| ↑32 | “Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty!” |
| ↑33 | “Those men fight for vanity, for money, for false pride.” |
| ↑34 | “How did you find me in the wilderness?” |
| ↑35 | “I saw you from the village.” |
| ↑36 | “They tried to convert each other, but got married instead. Then they died.” |
| ↑37 | “Some people say wrestlers make bad lovers, that they save themselves for the ring.” |
| ↑38 | “People might get the wrong idea about you, like maybe you are a floozy.” |
| ↑39 | “I like your cow.” |
| ↑40 | “Jesse, I owe you 4.99 plus tax.” |
| ↑41 | “Those eggs were a lie, Esqueleto. A lie! They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients!” |
| ↑42 | “Ramses’ number one, he knows the secret of desire. Ramses is the one, he puts the people all on fire.” |
| ↑43 | “But you’re tall and fast like a gazelle, you can do it. Pray to the Lord for strength.” |
| ↑44 | “I ate some bugs. I ate some grass. I used my hands to wipe my tears.” |
| ↑45 | “Tonight, I felt something deeper inside me that I never felt before!” |
| ↑46 | “Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen.” |