She went away for the holidays[1]Once at BYUI back in the mid-2000s, I was trying to decide whether or not to propose to my girlfriend, when one day out of the blue I got a forwarded email from her—one featuring the cranky, poorly … Continue reading
Said she’s going to LA [2]I had then-recently served my mission in Latin America and so knew first hand how flatly false all these stereotypes were—that these humble, hard-working immigrants have verifiably lower crime … Continue reading
But she never got there[3]Long story short, I never proposed, though she was the one who ended up breaking up with me first–in no small part because I had been the one dragging my feet about it. I was sad about it for … Continue reading
She never got there
She never got there, they say[4]Part of why I was caught off guard all those years ago by her strange email-forward is that she had seemed too nice of a person to endorse something so vicious—though in retrospect, that was also … Continue reading
She went away for the holidays
Said she’s going to LA
But she never got there
She never got there
She never got there, they say[5]But then, she had claws after all, didn’t she: all hatred is self-hatred, and it was just easier and more seductive for her to project her self-esteem issues onto Hispanic immigrants than to … Continue reading
The KKK took my baby away[6]A reminder that shortly after Election ‘24, the real-life KKK spread flyers around their old stronghold of Indiana telling immigrants to “self-deport now.” Listen, I don’t have a whole lot of … Continue reading
They took her away[7]Ask any fan and they’ll tell you, that the whole genius of The Ramones was in their very stupidity. I mean, the sheer chutzpah it takes to rhyme “KKK” with “LA” … Continue reading
Away from me
The KKK took my baby away[8]Take for example this, their 1981 single “The KKK Took My Baby Away,” the one that has the aforementioned rhyme that’s so dumb it’s low-key brilliant. Written by lead-singer Joey … Continue reading
They took her away
Away from me[9]I mean, is the song about how his girlfriend was literally kidnapped by the KKK while on a vacation to California? Or worse, is it that she voluntarily joined the KKK–and as a Jewish man, or … Continue reading
Hey, ho, hey, ho[10]Direct allusion to their very first recorded song (and arguable ground-zero for all three-chord Punk to follow), “Blitzkrieg Pop.”
I don’t know
Where my baby can be
They took her from me
They took her from me
I don’t know
Where my baby can be
They took her from me
They took her from me[11]Indeed, that’s how many of us have felt over the past decade: we observed all of our loved ones in the Church whom we looked up to growing up—the adults who repeatedly admonished us to be kind … Continue reading
Ring, ring, ring up the President
And find out where my baby went
Ring, ring, ring up the FBI
And find out if my baby’s alive[12]Of course none of this is remotely new: the Book of Mormon is replete with examples of the Church stumbling in its progress due to the conduct of many of its members: e.g. “and the wickedness of … Continue reading
Yeah, yeah, yeah
O-o-o-o o-oh
O-o-o-o o-oh
She went away for the holidays
Said she’s going to LA
But she never got there
She never got there
She never got there, they say[13] (I’m happily married now, by the way, to a wife who, at a bare minimum, is not filled with hatred and contempt for Hispanic immigrants).
She went away for the holidays
Said she’s going to LA
But she never got there
She never got there
She never got there, they say
The KKK took my baby away
They took her away
Away from me
The KKK took my baby away
They took her away
Away from me
The KKK took my baby away
They took her away
Away from me
The KKK took my baby away
They took my girl
They took my baby away[14]This doesn’t mean we trivialize or downplay the seriousness of our current situation; the Book of Mormon is also the record of the “great and marvelous destruction” of the Nephites, due to … Continue reading
References
| ↑1 | Once at BYUI back in the mid-2000s, I was trying to decide whether or not to propose to my girlfriend, when one day out of the blue I got a forwarded email from her—one featuring the cranky, poorly sketched old lady from Crabby Road against an American flag backdrop—declaiming against all the filthy, free-loading, job-stealing, crime-ridden illegals flooding our borders, and how we needed to deport them all back to Mexico. |
|---|---|
| ↑2 | I had then-recently served my mission in Latin America and so knew first hand how flatly false all these stereotypes were—that these humble, hard-working immigrants have verifiably lower crime rates and contribute immensely to our GDP and tax-base (not to mention, you know, harvest the food we literally need to survive); that we have stolen land and resources from them, not the other way around; that in fact we have flagrantly priced them out of “legal” immigration so that we could all the more easily exploit then deport them—all of which in my youthful RM naivety I thought we as members of the Church were mostly on the same page about. Hence it was with real confusion that I asked her if she was the one who had forwarded me that mean-spirited email. I’ll never forget how brightly she smiled when she said “Yes! Wasn’t that great?” |
| ↑3 | Long story short, I never proposed, though she was the one who ended up breaking up with me first–in no small part because I had been the one dragging my feet about it. I was sad about it for the longest time, worrying in the same way so many singles in the Church do that I had somehow screwed up my one shot at Temple marriage and exaltation or whatever. It wasn’t till years later that I realized I’d definitely dodged a bullet when I looked her up on social media, only to find that she was now a Young Earth Creationist in addition to an unrepentant xenophobe. If you’re willing to swallow one set of obvious lies, you’ll definitely swallow others too, I guess. |
| ↑4 | Part of why I was caught off guard all those years ago by her strange email-forward is that she had seemed too nice of a person to endorse something so vicious—though in retrospect, that was also very naive of me, because she wasn’t ever actually nice at all, but only unconfident, non-confrontational, and shy. To quote Nietzsche, she was one of those weaklings who thought herself virtuous solely cause she lacked claws. |
| ↑5 | But then, she had claws after all, didn’t she: all hatred is self-hatred, and it was just easier and more seductive for her to project her self-esteem issues onto Hispanic immigrants than to confront and work on them in herself. In this, she has been very far from alone.
That is, I do have some inkling for what it means to feel that the KKK took my baby away. |
| ↑6 | A reminder that shortly after Election ‘24, the real-life KKK spread flyers around their old stronghold of Indiana telling immigrants to “self-deport now.” Listen, I don’t have a whole lot of hard, fast rules in my life, but “don’t support whatever the KKK supports” has been a pretty safe one for me! |
| ↑7 | Ask any fan and they’ll tell you, that the whole genius of The Ramones was in their very stupidity. I mean, the sheer chutzpah it takes to rhyme “KKK” with “LA” (it’s seriously Johnny Cash levels of rhyming “black” with “back” on “Man in Black” in terms of I-don’t-care-how-dumb-it-sounds-to-you); the way they deconstructed all of Rock ‘n Roll down to just three basic chords, refused to ever get better at their instruments, and mocked the very concept of guitar solos; the way they made legions of sullen teens and twenty-somethings sneer at their songbook like it was some simplistic work of Modernist Art and say, “Even I could make that”–but then see the light-bulb pop up over their heads as they realized, “No seriously, even I could make that!” at which tens of thousands of them promptly did.
That is, there was something sincerely empowering, childlike, and therefore divine about their music; and despite their carefully-cultivated dumb stoner persona, the band members themselves were by all accounts very articulate, quick-witted, intelligent, and self-aware about what they were doing. The Ramones were only stupid on the surface—making themselves foolish, in the words of Paul, that they may be wise. |
| ↑8 | Take for example this, their 1981 single “The KKK Took My Baby Away,” the one that has the aforementioned rhyme that’s so dumb it’s low-key brilliant. Written by lead-singer Joey Ramone, it was purportedly about how guitarist Johnny Ramone–who often teased Joey for being Jewish–stole his girlfriend once upon a time. Or is it about how he met a black girl at a mental institution in the ’70s, but her Christian parents made them break up cause he was Jewish? Or are we all just being trolled by these competing back-stories? Whatever. What actually makes the track fascinating is that, even if you utterly ignore all the supposed behind-the-scenes drama, these deceptively simple lyrics can still be read on multiple levels! |
| ↑9 | I mean, is the song about how his girlfriend was literally kidnapped by the KKK while on a vacation to California? Or worse, is it that she voluntarily joined the KKK–and as a Jewish man, or any sort of minority for that matter, he feels that betrayal as acutely as if she really had been killed by them—because it is indeed a spiritual death to succumb to such hatred? (Seriously, that’s how I started to feel about my ex back in Rexburg). |
| ↑10 | Direct allusion to their very first recorded song (and arguable ground-zero for all three-chord Punk to follow), “Blitzkrieg Pop.” |
| ↑11 | Indeed, that’s how many of us have felt over the past decade: we observed all of our loved ones in the Church whom we looked up to growing up—the adults who repeatedly admonished us to be kind and loving and charitable and to share with others, to avoid vulgarity and crude language as unbecoming the servants of the Lord, to be respectful of women and generous towards those who are worse off than you, to avoid casinos and pornography and greed and materialism and adultery and even the appearance of evil—only to watch almost every last one of these same loved ones vote for the exact opposite the moment it had an (R) in front of it. And this they did, not reluctantly, not sorrowfully, not as a lesser-of-two-evils option, but enthusiastically, excitedly, proudly, with the same big smile as my ex in Rexburg, as a way to at long last inflict the most appalling cruelty upon immigrants and refugees, the “stranger in our midst,” swinging away hard from Christ’s own “I was a stranger and ye took me in” to the completely unscriptural “empathy is a sin.” The KKK took my baby away indeed.
No wonder youth retention rates are so low these days: if the adults clearly don’t believe what they preach, then why should the kids? |
| ↑12 | Of course none of this is remotely new: the Book of Mormon is replete with examples of the Church stumbling in its progress due to the conduct of many of its members: e.g. “and the wickedness of the church was a great stumbling-block to those who did not belong to the church; and thus the church began to fail in its progress” (Alma 4:10); “Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words” (Alma 39:11); “…the pride which began to enter into the church—not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God—And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction” (Helaman 3:33-34); “yea, there were many churches which professed to know the Christ, and yet they did deny the more parts of his gospel, insomuch that they did receive all manner of wickedness” (4 Nephi 1:27), and so on and so forth. This should not cause our faith to falter, since we were warned of the same from the beginning. |
| ↑13 | (I’m happily married now, by the way, to a wife who, at a bare minimum, is not filled with hatred and contempt for Hispanic immigrants). |
| ↑14 | This doesn’t mean we trivialize or downplay the seriousness of our current situation; the Book of Mormon is also the record of the “great and marvelous destruction” of the Nephites, due to their utter failure in the end to have charity and live up to their own principles. This all is only a reminder to not let ourselves get swept away by the proverbial KKK as well; such really would be spiritual death. |