I was working in the lab^[1]The lab of course is a subtle allusion to the necessity of experimentation towards faith: “But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and … Continue reading late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight^[2]“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the … Continue reading
For my monster from his slab began to rise^[3]“For the LORD shall rise up…that he may do his work, his strange work; and bring to pass his act, his strange act.” -Isaiah 28:21
And suddenly to my surprise^[4]A surprise is what God has in store for us all: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, Neither have entered into the heart of man, The things which God hath prepared…” -1 Corinthians 2:9

(He did the Mash)^[5]This annotated reading is of course a completely serious, straight-laced, sober and somber analysis of a very deep and profound song with multiple levels of meaning.

He did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard^[6]“O grave, where is thy victory?” -1 Corinthians 15:55 smash
(He did the Mash)
It caught on in a flash^[7]Like the Lord Himself, he “did them suddenly, and they came to pass.” -Isaiah 48:3; 1 Nephi 20:3
(He did the Mash)
He did the Monster Mash

From my laboratory in the castle east^[8]“He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens” -Psalms 78:26
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast^[9]Are we not all vampires at the feast–feasting upon our neighbors, that is–when we do not repent? “And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; … Continue reading
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes^[10]Like Saul and the Witch of Endor summoning forth the ghost of Samuel the Prophet, the narrator hath committed blasphemy, and hath become an enemy of the LORD!
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard smash^[11]Obviously a reference to how the Savior had smashed the grave in victory.
(They did the Mash)
It caught on in a flash
(They did the Mash)
They did the Monster Mash

The zombies^[12]Like the zombies that resurrected at the Savior’s crucifixion: “And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks … Continue reading were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man^[13]Truly, a wolf in sheep’s clothing hath come among us!
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin’, all were diggin’ the sounds^[14]“If ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, do you feel so now?” -Alma 5:26
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds^[15]“I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock” -Acts 20:29
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, “The Crypt-Kicker Five”^[16]Much like the artist of the Second Coming mural at the Washington D.C. Temple, the Crypt-Kickers have inserted themselves directly into their greatest work of art!

They played the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard smash
(They played the Mash)
It caught on in a flash
(They played the Mash)
They played the Monster Mash

Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled^[17]Indeed, we should all be troubled! Even the Savior of the World was troubled: “I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.” -3 Nephi 17:14 by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said
“Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?”^[18]Really, Dracula, can new wine be put into old bottles? The Transylvaia Twist hath passed away, for behold, “old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians … Continue reading

It’s now the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
And it’s a graveyard smash
(It’s now the Mash)
It’s caught on in a flash
(It’s now the Mash)
It’s now the Monster Mash

Now everything’s cool, Drac’s a part of the band^[19]The lion shall lay down with the lamb, even as Dracula shall play with the band, in the great Millennial Day!
And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land^[20]All the world shall know the Monster Mash, which is obviously a metaphor for the Gospel itself: “No longer will one teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for … Continue reading
For you, the living^[21]“I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever” -John 6:51, this Mash was meant too
When you get to my door^[22]“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me [and do the Mash]” -Revelations 3:20, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
And do my graveyard smash
(Then you can Mash)
You’ll catch on in a flash
(Then you can Mash)
Then you can Monster Mash

Mmgrrrr (Monster Mash)
Easy, Igor, you impetuous young boy^[23]For we must all, like Igor, become as little children
Mmgrrrr, mash good^[24]We have been completely serious. From beginning to end. We mean every jot and tittle.