I had a small friend
Who had a fat friend
Who had a big friend
Who gave birth to many friends^[1]Eternal increase with eternal spiritual progeny. Doctrine and Covenants 132:24–“This is eternal lives—to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. … Continue reading
With our flashlights to the sky
We waited for them to land^[2]Mormonism has more than once been classified as a Sci-Fi religion, what with our alien embodied God inhabiting a distant planet, raising us up to join him, being translated into the celestial realms … Continue reading

I got two tall friends^[3]“Two personages…”
Who know my small friend
Who seem to have a problem with you
They got roman candles
Bottle rockets for the vandals^[4]Fireworks. And also a reference to the Catholic Church headquartered in Rome, which was sacked by the vandals; Joseph Smith in the Nauvoo period said to never disrespect the Catholic Church, since … Continue reading
Who covered our lockers in glue

We’re on our way here we go
We’re gonna take over
Set it off one last time^[5]Behold, these are the Latter Days, and the Lord will send forth his servants to reap the harvest for the final time
Here we come again

We were strangers
And we were pilgrims^[6]Hebrews 11:13
Role models of the family man
Pioneers^[7]Saints crossing the Great Plains and patriarchs^[8]Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
Patriots and matriarchs^[9]Queens and Priestesses; the Temple Matron; Heavenly Mother, “O My Father” vs. 3
Staking out the promised land^[10]1 Nephi 4:14

Our little army
We were commandos
Guerillas with decoder rings
We felt some opposition^[11]2 Nephi 2:11
From some villains
Who were wishin’
They could be cadets and kings^[12]Abraham 3:22-26; Joseph Smith, King Follett discourse

We’re on our way here we go
We’re gonna take over
Set it off one last time
Here we come again

All systems go!
Soon the world will know^[13]Joseph Smith, “I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world“
The fury of attack
Feel the wrath of
The super rad
The super rad
All systems go!
Soon the world will know
The fury of attack
Feel the wrath of
The super rad
The super rad
The super rad
Super rad!

And if we die^[14]“Come Come Ye Saints” Hymn #30
Before the battle’s through
Tell your mom, tell your dad
That we were super rad!

We’re on our way here we go
We’re gonna take over
Set it off one last time
Here we come again

All systems go!
Soon the world will know
The fury of attack
Feel the wrath of
The super rad
The super rad
All systems go!
Soon the world will know
The fury of attack
Feel the wrath of
The super rad
The super rad
The super rad

All systems go
As we step into the octagon
Feel the wrath of mission codename
Applesauce applesauce applesauce

Super rad!^[15]MC Bat Commander is the great-grandson of the Apostle LeGrand Richards–of A Marvelous Work and a Wonder fame–and served his mission in Japan